Football Fans woke up to glorius Sunshine, so what better way that to take a stroll along to Stade de Dog Shit and watch the Trees Ressies open their County Cup account against MK Churches. It promised to be an interesting game and the pun count in this Report could be huge given our opponents.

I imagined a nice stroll in the Sun and then being entertained by a feast of Football, but it didn't quite work out like that. I decided to cut through some of the less prosperous areas of Bletchley and was amazed to see a BMW Convertable parked up which had obviously had quite a bit of money spent on it, albeit in a boy racerish manner. Then I looked to see the house that they lived in and it was in short a shit hole, nice to see some people have got their priorities right. No less than 2 mins later I was greeted by another boy racer with "Incredible" the Jungle (remember that?) by Geneal Levy blaring out of the Sound System, the tune being only about 16 years out of date.

But Cloggsy preperations were in tatters as injuries & absentees had the team down to the bare bones (although not by last seasons standards). In fact when the Trees faithful arrived during the match they had assumed that Cloggsy couldn't make the match only to look in horror as he was wearing a shirt and actually playing.

Cloggsy had decorated the Rickley Dressing Room with Motivational Posters, forgetting that the literacy rate in the Ressies is about 23% which dropped to 17% when I walked out of it. The pre match team talk mainly consisted of how this cup was part of the Trees history and how a good cup run was well overdue.
The lads took all this on board and started amazingly well when with 3 mins gone Rusty broke down the right, cut inside 3 defenders then went outside them, then cut back inside, then lost the ball, then won it back and eventually slotted past the keeper (Cloggs did say it was from 12 yards but that was from his 'vantage point' on the halfway line where he stayed all game long, i can assure you it was much close than that, in fact It was like the goals you used to score at School where you had to dribble right up to the goal before shooting)

The Church side almost equalised straight away but Dazza came out well to deny them an almost immediate equaliser.

The Church side were a refreshing change of opposition as they weren't dirty, could played Football and didn't backchat the Referee, you couldn't see Dave Harrold getting on their side with his new skinhead look which makes him more like a BNP member than a member of the God Army. Some hard tackles went in on the Chuch side but what looked like severe injuries were miracuously cured when the holy water was sprinked on them.

Harrold's skinhead was responsible for the 2nd goal as he headed in from a corner. Trees won a corner from the right, which Cloggs (yes i know walshy) who started himself, much to the dismay of Dan and Jay,whipped the ball into the near post and Trigga converted a lovely diving header. (he has asked to spell Trigga with an A???)

as an easy victory looked on the cards. But if there's one thing you have learned about the Trees Ressies this season, every match has only 1 goal in it and true to form the Ressies suddenly went down several gears and the Church side started to dominate. It was no surprise when they netted, although the manner of the goal was dissapointing as a mix up at the back let in their striker to put the ball past Dazza.

Young Bamber had a chance for the Trees when he was put through but when a deft touch was needed he could only sky the ball over the bar, but if anyone looked like scoring again in the half it was the Church side and the half time whistle was a welcome relief. Our favourtie Ref Ian took over as lino, despite being a qualified Referee it was good to see that he didn't feel the need to put out his fag while running the line.

The part of the 2nd half I saw was in truth pretty shit. The Trees had stopped the Church side threatening an equaliser, Churches only seemed interested in a damage limitation exercise that the Trees, despite all their possession, struggled to break down and create any real chances. Churches did pull one back when a long ball caught Mikey and Trigga out and their one forward converted neatly.
. The only 2nd half entertainment I saw was Wayne Christy arriving in full police gear closely followed by Tindell in a fire truck - I was waiting for the Red Indian and the Construction Worker, but sadly they didn't materialise.

GAFFA SAYS
A good exercise in keeping the ball and being patient. All that mattered was the result, and on a positive note we didn't miss a hatful of chances only to regret them at the end of the game.

MOM DAVE BARTLETT

By the way a big congratulations to the 1st team for their result this week.