BTFC's (I know both sides are BTFC but you know which one i'm on about) first Pre-Season outing was always going to be a tough challenge taking on a South Mids outfit after only a handful of training sessions and some key players missing, but the run-out was a useful one, albeit one where as expected we were well beaten. We were surprised to see Cloggsy arrive late for the match, until we realised that Bletchley Town had sneakily placed a kebab van 100 yards from the Ground which obviously was too much for the Reserve Team gaffer to resist.

We didn't have a recognised Goalkeeper so Shrek was put in the sticks hoping that people wouldn't notice that his Orange Keepers top matched his hair - and to be fair had a cracking game, so much so that apart from one error our regulars Goalkeepers probably wouldn't have altered the scoreline. To make things harder for the Trees, Bletchley Town fielded 3 different sides, which meant that fatigue was an issue for us in the latter stages.

The game was split into 3 x 30 mins games against Town's 3 sides. The Trees won the first match 2v1 against what looked like their weakest XI (or if it isn't they may wish to think again about their team selections). Both sides looked a bit rusty, but Dee capitalised on some poor defending by striking the ball firmly past the Town Keeper for the opening goal. Trees fielded a new Central Defensive partnership and whilst both Terry and Ben did well in patches, it was clear that an understanding had not yet developed and Town won a flick on which was latched onto by their striker who left Shrek with no chance with a well placed effort in the top corner.

But Trees started to get on top of the game and got the goal we deserved when Jerome bravely crossed with his left and was rewarded when after a poor clearance Gerrard was gifted with an easy chance which he tucked away for a 2v1 lead.

Town put on their 2nd team who seemed to be better than the first we came up against although BTFC had a chance to add to the lead in the opening seconds of the 2nd period. A Town defender struck the ball against a team-mate and the ricochet fell nicely to Homer who was clear on goal. Homer's effort was well saved but the danger still wasn't over and the ball fell to Bruce whose well placed chip unluckily crashed offf the bar.

Unfortunatly that was as good as it got for BTFC as Town as expected dominated the game after that. BTFC's players were starting to get tired against Town's new team and Town were starting to dominate (time to get the pack of cards out at training again chaps). It was no surprise when Town equalised when Shrek failed to hold a free-kick and their striker was right on the spot to stab home for the equaliser.

Shrek made amends when their centre forward went clean through and pulled of a good stop and then an even better stop from the rebound as Shrek suddenly turned into Peter Schmeichel. BTFC were dissapointing defending corners and all evening long and were made to pay when from a corner a goalbound effort was handled on the line by new boy Martin. The penalty was converted with virtually the last kick of the 2nd period to put Town 3v2 ahead.

Cloggs decided to give our tops a good stretch and make an appearance for the 3rd game (this might be a good time to tell you that you now have to pay a signing on fee). Cloggs shot straight from centre - I won't embarrase Cloggsy by describing the effort other than mentioning it didn't go in, but it's fair to say had that been one fo Cloggsy's players attempting that he would have been subbed the moment it left his foot. He shouted "that's me done" and started to walk off the pitch which was amusing, but unfortunatly his words were prophetic as he then didn't touch the ball for another 10 mins and barely left the centre circle before being subbed.

Town were now dominating possesion as their 3rd team looked the best of the bunch and it was rather cruel as their fresh legs were running a tired BTFC side hard. We will be dissapointed in the nature of the other 3 goals we conceded as they were preventable, but given the circumstances and the quality of the opposition it was understandable and this is what Pre-Season is for.

There were positives to take from the game, apart from Shrek's unexpected brilliant performance in goal, there were good performances by the new boys - Ben & Terry who showed good attitiude even when the scoreline was against us (not sure about Ben's fat boy shorts though). Martin showed good positional sense at right back and had a good game and Dee and Jerome showed good quality on the ball which when channeled will be a huge asset to the team.

I also can't let Rollings disgusting actions pass by without comment where in the changing room where he unshamelessly played with his lovepiece as Franny was making tactical pointers after the game and then proceeded to imitate a scene out of the crying game (see below). Apologies to anyone of a family audience reading this report but we will be referring Rollings to the MK Sexual offenders list.